Stop giving ultimatums, leave the past alone and finally forget about the former.
1. This is all your fault!
The flow of accusations will not benefit either you or your partner. Even if the person you love is really to blame for the situation. Be smart and do not add oil to the fire. It is better later, when the passions settle down, to talk calmly and find out who is to blame and what to do.
2. But he always did it for me.
Never, remember, never mention the exes in a conversation. Neither good nor evil – not at all.
The partner may have a reasonable question: has the relationship ended, if you keep remembering them all the time? Endless comparisons with someone “ideal” (actually, no) will drive your loved one into complexes and neuroses. And this, in your opinion, is love?
If you still want to change your partner’s behavior, try more civilized methods, such as soul talks or soft beliefs.
3. I have never heard more stupidity in my life.
If you have entered into a relationship knowingly, you are likely to imagine the intellectual level of the partner. Therefore, you should not scornfully or mock his ridiculous – only in your opinion – ideas and thoughts. It will only lead to the fact that the person you love will shut up, go away and stop sharing anything with you.
You can tactfully and delicately point out to your partner the illogic of the thought, and in response to a joke you heard in elementary school, just smile. At the end of the day, the person tried his best to make you happy.
4. You can’t do anything normally.
You can’t say such things out loud at all. And try not to think so about yourself. Thank you for trying, praise for your efforts. And if something did not work – no problem, together you will find a way out of the situation and the solution to the problem.
5. And I told you
This is beyond good and evil in general.
Do not turn into an evil monster and forget about the existence of this phrase forever. Is it so important for you to show your rightness and be the one who will say the last word? It will not do you any good, believe me.
It is typical for a man to be wrong, and only the one who does nothing is not wrong.
Let your partner make mistakes and learn the right lessons from them. Your task is to support and love, not to denounce and triumph. Smile and tell your loved one that next time he or she will definitely succeed.
6. If you loved me, you would never…
It is humiliating and dishonest to give ultimatums and conditions. Do not manipulate a loved one and do not put him before a choice: you or something else. Continuous pressure on the partner will lead to an explosion. The person will bump up and send you to hell.
Try to find compromises and consider the desires and needs of the other half. Don’t you enjoy it when people respect your needs?
7. Do not wear this.
To reconcile with someone else’s closet is not easy.
However, you will have to do it, or find ways of gentle influence in the name of preserving the relationship. For example, a worn husband’s T-shirt may suddenly disappear from the closet, and its place will take a stylish update. With women, it’s even easier: just go shopping with your beloved and give her the kindness (and money) to buy only what she likes.
In any case, always explain your position and strive for compromise. Don’t you like skirts that are too short? Let your wife wear them at home or on one day of the week.
8. And my mother did differently
It is an option for men. Do not dare to say such a thing, especially if your beloved is not in the best mood. Otherwise, you risk to hear the advice to pack up and go immediately to live with your mother. This is a dead-end option for the development of a relationship.
The wife or girlfriend will never become like your mother.
This is just not necessary. It is better to unobtrusively teach your wife “mommy’s” recipes or show how you are used to ironing shirts. That is, in the same way as their mother used to iron them.
9. You are a total zero in bed.
If yesterday’s passionate lover is exhausted, do not rush to throw angry accusations in the face and demand African passion here and now. Situations can be different, and a man could be tritely exhausted at work. It is not bad to look at yourself critically from the outside. Perhaps you should pull up your figure, get rid of a beer belly or buy sexy lingerie.
If you initially knew about the low sexual temperament of the other half, do not say that you entered into a relationship with hope and thoughts of “appetite comes while eating”. You can try – delicately and unobtrusively – to shake up your loved one and show him new facets of sex. But forcing, forcing and insulting is the way to break up.
10. There are only losers in your family.
Family is a sacred thing. Even if your partner does not get tired of watering your relatives with dirt, you are strictly forbidden to do so. You’ve become part of a family with difficult relationships, so it’s much more reasonable and safe just to stay neutral. And in no case do not let you get involved in horseshoe games. For you, they will come out side by side, because the relatives will support each other in any case. Nothing forces the former enemies to unite like a new common enemy.