These principles and stereotypes make us miserable. It’s time to give them up. It’s worth reminding ourselves more often that not all of the beliefs we’ve learned are true.
1. Work is work. It must not be easy and pleasant
Our attitude toward work as a hard and joyless occupation has formed in us long ago and is still unchangeable. Work is necessary in order not to die of hunger, the most important result of it is money, and to rest and enjoy the weekend. If, of course, there is strength and desire left.
It is not customary to expect from work satisfaction, interesting tasks, comfortable atmosphere and great team, where everyone supports each other. They say, it’s all from the evil, and in general – who now is easy.
In difficult times of crisis, when not many options are left, and one wants to eat, it is really necessary to choose a job from what you have, and think primarily about earnings. But at other times, it is absolutely natural to look for an occupation that you will be interested in and a place where you will feel good. As well as to leave the company that you do not like.
Psychologists and HR-specialists admit that monetary motivation is not the only thing that is important for effective work, and among the causes of burnout there is no small salary, but there is overload, lack of recognition, non-transparent conditions and weak feeling of satisfaction.
2. Every minute should be used wisely
There’s an idea in classic time management books that you need to be efficient and productive literally around the clock. You’re either working, self-developing, culturally enriching, or sleeping.
You can’t just ride the subway or fly on a plane: you should be sure to read professional literature, set goals for the week, or at the very least listen to Mozart. Under no circumstances should you lie on the couch after work with a soap opera. Why waste precious time on this when you can work a little more or go to an organ concert.
This concept is not new. Some people begin to suffer because of it in childhood, when they are taken to ten different circles, that the child did not loiter, was not given to himself and grew up as successful and versatile personality.
In fact, such a constant employment and inability to relax may lead to sensory and information overload – a condition when the brain is so tired of the flow of data that it begins to “stall. As a result, our productivity goes down, and our mood along with it.
That’s why it’s important to pause when you need to, and even to be bored and idle once in a while. After all, boredom develops
creativity and helps to find new interesting solutions.
3. Never ask for anything. Do everything yourself
If you need help, it means you’re weak and can’t cope. If you share tasks with someone else, it means that your work and its results become less meaningful and valuable, because you can be proud of yourself only when you are pulling the weight all by yourself.
This is the kind of logic usually followed by adherents of the “do-it-yourself” idea. “Did she get in shape quickly after childbirth? Sure, it’s easy for her, she’s got a nanny, anyone can do that.” “He started his own business? Doesn’t count, his parents gave him money.”
This is a harmful and completely unconstructive attitude. If you need to delegate some tasks, why not ask for help? If it’s possible to do the job in four hands instead of two, why not do it that way? You will cope faster, and you will have more energy left for the next achievements.
4. Bring all business to its end
You start playing guitar, keep doing it until you’re a professional guitarist. You start reading a book: don’t quit, even if it’s boring. Chose a profession – work for the rest of your life until you make a career and get dozens of regalia. Otherwise you’re inconsistent, frivolous, and gutless.
Some things really can’t be abandoned in the middle, such as a course of treatment or business on which other people’s comfort and well-being depend. But if your goals and plans change, the task proves to be impossible or radically at odds with your expectations, you are free to quit at any time – and you will not become a bad person for doing so.
5. He did it, so you can do it
Lose weight, make a lot of money, move to another country, have four kids and have a career at the same time – someone did it, so there’s no reason why you can’t. And if you really can’t do it, you’re probably not trying hard enough. And the role model could be anyone from Mark Zuckerberg to my mom’s friend’s son.
Except that this ingenuous formula “if he can do it, so can I,” as a rule, does not take into account many inputs. Health and mental constitution, starting capital, social stratum, family and environment, level of education, place of residence, participation of friends and relatives, lucky coincidence, and so on.
Anyone else is not you, and there’s no point in blindly focusing on someone else’s successes and then eating yourself up for not living up to the ideal. Be inspired by people, learn from their mistakes, but also remember to push back against your own realities and capabilities and move at your own pace.
6. To get results, you have to sacrifice something
Health, sleep, family, friendships, happiness and good mood, free time. It’s kind of like you can’t make great achievements without great sacrifices. So it’s perfectly normal to push into a far corner all your hobbies, as long as you earn money for the house, or skip children’s matinees to prove yourself and get a promotion.
There are almost hopeless situations when you can not do without sacrifice. But experts have long established that balancing career, personal life, family and self-care increases job satisfaction and happiness levels.
And when we miss out on something that is interesting and important to us, like hobbies or communicating with loved ones, and focus only on work, we risk getting caught in a vortex of exhaustion and burnout.